writing for pleasure. how novel!

It took 33 years to draw this map

The one you see when you look at me

It shows where I’ve been

The rivers I’ve cried

The mountains I’ve overcome

It shows you the places I’ve loved

And the valleys of laughter are clear

The dark lands of sorrow too

Recently the summers are showing more clearly

A sign post of my mother’s design

It shows the winters of contentment too

Most obvious in the holes unused in my belt

The thing with this map though

 Is that there is no legend

We’re all blind when we try to read each other’s faces

So many stories are hidden within this 33 year old map

bored, procrastinating, or I just feel like talking?

• 1. Your name?Alex, Legs, Trip. babe. 
• 2. Your age? 33
• 3. Where are you from?Sydney.
• 4. Eye color? kinda blue grey...
• 5. Your sexual identity? i Identify as a chick who likes chicks who like chicks. Having said that though, on the recently introduced sliding scale of sexual preference I am about a 7.5/10 (1 being fred niles, 10 being ellen)
• 6. 3 things you’re terrified of? relying on my body to get me to great heights. never having children. graduating.
• 7. Diagnosed with anything? a few things, nothing exciting. a bit of poor eye sight. some arthritis, some ovary cyst issues. nothing major.
• 8. Ever visited a different country? many different countries, but there are still many more. I have 3 more planned for 2014.
• 9. Have any siblings? 1 or 4, depending on how you want to look at it. I generally say i have 3 though.
• 10. Anyone you miss? yes. There is always someone I miss. I even randomly miss my best friend who lived next door when we were 7. I haven't seen or heard from her in 23 years.
• 11. Was today a good day? so far so good, and I have expectations that it will continue as such.
• 12. How many people have you dated? I drew a whole time line once... somewhere in the realm of 2 dozen i guess, from my first BF at 11 yrs old, through flings and serious relationships to now.
• 13. What was your first date like? my first date ever... might have been a group movie with friends. my most recent first date? lovely. movie then dinner then a walk on the beach.
• 14. What would you like to do as a career? I am working towards becoming a librarian. I think i might also enjoy doing data entry stuff, but on a larger scale than just plugging figures into a system.
• 15. 3 favorite movies? the sound of music. Shakespeare in love. The american president. these three I watch over and over and they make me feel good. there are others i could put on the same level, but i like them for different reasons - tank girl. the Breakfast club. etc.
• 16. 3 favorite TV shows? Greys anatomy, The biggest loser (any country), loving Bomb Girls right now.
• 17. Your current favorite video game/s? i like star wars pod racer, but i haven't played for a few years coz my nintendo 64 requires an adapter...
• 18. Your favorite childhood video game/s? captain comic.
• 19. Your favorite childhood TV show/s? A Country Practice, Start Trek next Gen.
• 20. Your favorite childhood movie/s?Oliver. Alice in wonderland. Mary Poppins
• 21. Have you ever led anybody on or been led on? I'm sure the answer is yes I have led someone on. I don't know if i have been led on. If i have it obviously didn't scar me.
• 22. Ever had your heart broken?I've been a breaker more often than the broken, but yeah, i've been crushed a bit once or twice.
• 23. Is it hard for you to get over things? no. I really struggle to hold a grudge...
• 24. Do you get jealous easily? nope.
• 25. Do you prefer being taken or single? each has their ups and downs, but I am very happily taken right now.
• 26. 5 facts about the person you like? she has a very commanding presence. She has a soft side she keeps mostly hidden. She gives great big strong hugs. Her knife skills are very handy. She sings a lot better than she thinks she does.
• 27. 5 facts about the person you hate? I don't hate anyone. and if i did, why would i know 5 things about them?
• 28. 5 facts about your best friend? too hard to choose which one to write about.
• 29. 5 facts about your ex?  i have chosen one least likely to ever see this. She has a violent past. She was very emotionally demanding. She is a good mother, though doesn't always make the most intelligent long term decisions. she was somewhat unadventurous. She comes from a small family.
• 30. 5 facts about yourself? I want to own a room full of books with a comfy nook for reading. I love to bake more than i can eat. I need to remind myself to not choose failure, often. I don't know why i can't keep my weight at a healthy level - i'm a bit lazy about it, but i love exercising when i'm doing it and can stick to a healthy diet happily. I feel like i waste a lot of time being very unproductive.
• 31. Your 3 biggest regrets? there are some things I didn't love at the time, but they have helped make me who I am and get me to where I am, so I don't regret them.
• 32. Last thing you ate? poached ocean trout and grilled asparagus salad.
• 33. Anybody you think about everyday? a few people, yes.
• 34. Have you ever hit anybody? never in anger, but I have hit many people. either play fighting with friends or at marshal arts training.
• 35. Has anybody ever told you they can’t live without you? yes. I don't believe it. ever.
• 36. What was your first kiss like? a quick lips peck with Martin. I was 12.
• 37. Are you a virgin? no. and at 33 i'm pretty ok with that answer!
• 38. Are you a morning person or are you nocturnal? I don't like waking up early, and I study best in the eveining, But i get tired and I would rather work a morning shift than a late shift...
• 39. Weirdest place you’ve had sex/would like to have sex? ummm... back of a car in a park. public bathrooms. a friends couch while she slept (or maybe not) down the hall. i don't know that these places really count as weird though.
• 40. What was your favourite song last summer? the Matilda soundtrack.
• 41. Ever taken illegal drugs? If so what ones?smoked pot, taken ecstasy. that's about it really.
• 42. Your earliest memory? When my sister was playing under the ironing board and the iron fell and burnt her. I have a memory of dad taking her to the hospital late at night. I would have been less than 3 years old.
• 43. Who did you/would you like to lose your virginity to? Daniel. He was a beautiful boy, with a heart of gold, and an unfortunate lack of strength to handle the issues in his life.
• 44. What was the last dream you had about? I dreamt last night that I was looking after a friends baby who she was calling a boy, though it had a vagina.
• 45. What was the last nightmare you had about? i don't remember.
• 46. Do you have any fetishes? what's normal to one person is a fetish to others. I don't tick any of the standard boxes though.
• 47. Who was your first love? I remember having a crush on Raymond Bart in primary school. He taught me how to do up my shoe laces. First as a "grown up" though was heather - a molly ringwald look alike.
• 48. Ever dumped anybody? Many.
• 49. Why did you and your ex break up? a different reason every time, but generally because I no longer wanted to be where I was.
• 50. 3 people you’d like to meet most? Rachel Maddow - she's hot and smart. Lynne - we've been online friends for years, but we are yet to actually meet. my first born child. I can't wait to meet that little person.
• 51. 3 things you’d like to do before you die? have kids. go on a cruise. have time to enjoy the reading room I want without feeling guilty about neglecting anything else.
• 52. Tumblr or Facebook? the book of faces. though I have recently been considering getting myself a tumblr account just so I can follow a few people.
• 53. The last thing you bought? coffee this morning. a few t-shirts a week ago.
• 54. What was your last holiday like? the last short break was a nice relax in the hunter valley, spending far too much money on wine. The last real holiday i took was amazing and perfect.
• 55. Would you date the last person you kissed? well, seeing as we live together I would have to say yes...
• 56. Have you ever had sex with somebody you weren’t dating? yes.
• 57. Ever cheated or been cheated on? yes.
• 58. Ever had sex with more than one person at one time? yes. (those answers were all a little bit vague... ;))
• 59. Would you ever enter into a long distance relationship? been there, done that. it's possible but not ideal.
• 60. Tell us a secret? I feel like I love my cats far more than they love me. but that's a cat for you!

Trek.... (better late than never...)

Terima kasih means thank you in Indonesian. I can't thank the boys who took us trekking enough. Aman, our guide, and 2 porters whose names I don't know, have been amazing. The food has been excellent, especially considering they carry it all on their shoulders. We trek down a hill, carrying our own stuff (maybe 4kgs) and arrive at a little shelter, our camp chairs are set and the kettle is on the boil for tea. And for tea brewed over a fire they built with wet sticks, it is amazing tea! The meals are massive, and so tasty, and we got to share breakfast with monkeys one day! 
Now, it all sounds pretty peachy so far. It's not all roses up here! I am filthy, and smelly, and every muscle I own is aching! I have been scared to the point of crying twice, and I have a bruise on my bum where slipped halfway up a volcano summit. I didn't make it to the top - I took shelter behind a rock on a path about 1m wide and shivered while Wendy did make it to the top and said it was the hardest thing she has ever done - this from a woman who ran a Marathon... 
Now we're off the mountain and I've had 3 showers I can look back at it and say it was amazing. I still can't walk down a step without looking 90 though.
On day one we started a gradual uphill walk in the blazing sun and the most horrible humidity you can imagine. After a lunch stop of rice, stir fried veggies, cucumber (every meal had cucumber!) prawn crackers, dragon fruit and pineapple, we started to actually face some hills. Then it started raining. Then Aman told us it was going to get steep... what he meant to say was, for the next 2 hours you will be scrabbling almost directly up a hill not too far off vertical, in a downpour. It stopped raining just as we reached camp, which our porters had set up before we arrived, and Wendy and I crashed out. Day 2 started at 2am. Woken to tea and toast, we then started the even harder trek up to the summit, 3700m above sea level, where we had been the morning before. It was like walking up the steepest sand dune you've ever seen, but with a vertical drop either side of the 1m wide path, for over 3 hours. Coming down only took 1.5 hours... We then had 2nd breakfast and started the descent to the lake and hot springs. By the time we were halfway down I felt like Bambi. I had no control over my own legs! We then discovered what Aman meant when he said flat. Not that there would be no hills, but that the path was smooth - no rocks or roots to trip over or use as steps... got to the "flat" and it started raining again... this was the first time Aman disappeared on us. It turned out he was hurrying ahead to make sure that camp was ready for us!
Lunch by the lake was the end of hiking for day 2, but both of those days had been 8+ hours of seriously hard work, and more than a few scared tears. The hot springs weren't quite as healing as we'd have liked, but were a great chance to wash off 2 days of muck and stink... Kinda. It's a bit hard to get really clean in a sulphur pool. A little more rain for good measure and time for another exhausted sleep. Day three started in a very relaxed fashion; a spot of fishing for the boys and a wander around the lake for us. Then the uphill. We only hiked for about 4 hours, but most of it was spent heading almost vertical again. This time there were rocks to climb, which made it easier and less scary, but also day 3 of some serious leg pain. And we stretched every chance we got. There was nothing we could do but live with the ache and keep going. The camp site for night 3 only has space for 2 groups, so after lunch young boy, the 16 yr old porter, packed up a bit less gear and practically ran down the next 45 mins of hill (the easiest part of the whole thing) and nabbed the best campsite! Our tent was on a raised platform, under a tin roof, next to the cooking shelter, with a view over the jungle where rare black monkeys live. It was amazing. To top it all off we had hot chips, again cooked over a fire, and a camp fire. It was a lovely night with all 5 of us sitting around the fire telling stories. 
Early (8pm) to bed, early (5:30am) to rise, and our last day began smelling awful and feeling like we couldn't move. Down hill all the way, for not much over 3 hours. But with all the aches it may as well have been 8. We made it back to John's Hotel by a little after 10, and I have never been so excited to have a freezing cold shower.
Overall it was an amazing experience, worth the pain that I am still (48 hours and 2 massages later) suffering. I wouldn't do it again, and I wish I had packed warmer clothes and more clean socks. I would absolutely recommend it to others, but with a massive warning. It is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. You'll be cold, wet, sore and exhausted for nearly the whole thing. You'll sweat buckets and then freeze half to death in the space of an hour. Mr John's trekking is absolutely the company you should use, I can not fault them or the equipment they had. 
Now if I could just get up out of my chair to get the password for the wifi...