it's christmas time in the city...

As far back as i can remember, christmas has included a trip to the opera house. A mango all for myself. A Darell lea christmas pudding.
more recently, it has included sleeping on my mothers sofa.
for many many years there has been a lunch that starts with smoked salmon and ends with the most decadent desserts!
So many little things make up christmas to me. the smell of pine is a must. Jacaranda trees, gardenias.
finding that perfect little gift, nothing big or flashy, but special to the person receiving it. sometimes even a pair of undies will fit the bill...

I hope you have all the things that mean christmas to you.

that is all.

???

so, when someone tells you they don't want a hug because they have been crying for about 5 hours, and hugging you would just mean more crying, do you feel good or bad? when the same person thanks you for imaginary hugs, because that's all they are brave enough to face, do you feel good or bad? do i feel bad that she cried alone for 5 hours when she could have called me for that hug? do i feel good that my hugs are a safe enough place that she feels she can cry there?

it's hard, and it leaves me feeling neither good or bad. closer to impotent, and un-useful (which is different to to useless).

that is all...