A few nights ago i went to see "A little Night Music" with Catherine Zeta Jones and Angela Lansbury. I knew nothing about the show. It was good, and they were both great. without them though, the show would have meant very little to me. they matter, to the exclusion of the show being good.
tonight i went to see "Next to Normal". I really wanted to see Alice Ripley, for a variety of reasons, none of them because i know her work, or even really know anything she has done. I know she won the Tony last year, and i have another fact or three about her, but that's all. I also knew nothing about the show, other than i have heard people say it's pretty heavy, but really good. I sat down, opened my playbill and two little 'understudy' slips fell out. "At this performance the role of DAN will be played by Michael Berry". "At this performance the role of DIANA will be played by Jessica Phillips". flick through playbill, Diana and Dan are the two leads. fuck. there goes Alice Ripley. oh well, such is life, that's what you get seeing a show on a sunday night of a holiday weekend.
Lights down, show starts. within seconds i had a feeling. within a few songs i was wiping tears from my cheeks and wondering if i could buy a songbook. by interval i was wishing i had a tissue and spent $90 on a program, the CD, the song book, a keyring, a hat. I have been found by this show. i can't put it into words. this show is what i needed right now - not because i necessarily associate with the story line, not necessarily because i was feeling down and needed a pick me up (coz this show ain't it). i can't explain it. This show is going to be the new "rent" in my life. the show i will see every chance i get. the show i will know all the words too within a week. the show i will sing as i walk down the street. the show i will perform songs from if i ever get the chance. the show i will tell everyone i can to go and see. (seriously - if you have the chance, SEE IT). the show i will audition to be a part of if it ever gets to amateur theatre in australia, even though the whole cast is only 6 people.
i waited at the stage door after and got signatures. i have never done that before, not even when i finally got the chance to see Rent in NYC. Jessica noted my accent in the three words i said, so i had a chance to say a few more. i told her she was amazing, that i had come to see the show "on spec" (which is mostly true) and that it was just amazing that i had to buy the lot! She is gorgeous, amazingly talented. I am so glad to have seen the show.
The clincher here is that She didn't matter. Alice didn't matter. The show matters. the show carried itself. She was brilliant. she matters, but not to the exclusion of the show.
that is all
20100527
thing to remember about NYC
look left, keep right. the light switches are upside down, the toilets are just fuller and even though it looks like a zebra crossing, it isn't one...
it's the little things. the smell of the subway, the smell in the hallway that reminds me of the little softener sheets i used to put in with the clothes to dry.
Monday may 24th. again. still. on the subway. Across from me is a lady, i'm gonna say she's Korean, about 50. not sure why korean, she could be from any asian country, she just strikes me as korean. she is enjoying her own company greatly, chatting, laughing, smiling. just really happy. makes her look a bit mad, , but who are we to judge? i've been known to be walking down the street and been hit by a memory, or a thought, or a future plan and it cracks me up, or makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt.
Movies on the plane - Avatar, Precious, a Tim Minchin doco and a movie about John Lennon as a boy - nowhere boy i think.
Apparently launch hasn't happened yet and may be being held till all three of us are around.
I need to get a subway map. i have no idea where i am, and only half an idea of where i am going...
it's the little things. the smell of the subway, the smell in the hallway that reminds me of the little softener sheets i used to put in with the clothes to dry.
Monday may 24th. again. still. on the subway. Across from me is a lady, i'm gonna say she's Korean, about 50. not sure why korean, she could be from any asian country, she just strikes me as korean. she is enjoying her own company greatly, chatting, laughing, smiling. just really happy. makes her look a bit mad, , but who are we to judge? i've been known to be walking down the street and been hit by a memory, or a thought, or a future plan and it cracks me up, or makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt.
Movies on the plane - Avatar, Precious, a Tim Minchin doco and a movie about John Lennon as a boy - nowhere boy i think.
Apparently launch hasn't happened yet and may be being held till all three of us are around.
I need to get a subway map. i have no idea where i am, and only half an idea of where i am going...
things i wanted to tweet from the plane
red wine with my meal - not sure which meal of the day it was though...
finally watching avatar. it's about time.
i really like this blanket. will be glad to add it to my collection
empty seat next to me FTW
the hostesses and stewards are all really lovely
(that was all, there isn't a lot of mental stimulation on planes...)
finally watching avatar. it's about time.
i really like this blanket. will be glad to add it to my collection
empty seat next to me FTW
the hostesses and stewards are all really lovely
(that was all, there isn't a lot of mental stimulation on planes...)
20100523
today i was part of making history.
last night and today the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Choir made history along with the Sydney detachment of the Royal Australian Navy Band. We did a joint concert. it is the first time the navy band has performed with a gay and lesbian community organisation, the first time any defense in Australia have had a collaboration like this. possibly even the first time in the world.
i have a few different trains of thought about this. in no particular order...
everything we do every day is "making history". yeah some of it is really boring history, like going to the shops, or looking for employment, or feeding the cat. i'm sure no-one much cares about these parts of my life, but maybe one day in the very distant future someone will look back on this, and the (current day) very ordinary fact that i am writing a blog about it, and say "wow, is that how they did things in 2010" we can never know this for sure. i know i love social history, not about dates and facts and wars and treaties, but about dances and letter writing, and courting, and dress making. the every day stuff that we don't think of as making history...
thought 2. i'm really glad to have been part of something that comes under the heading of "slightly more interesting history". I'm glad that we have had the opportunity to break down some of the perceived barriers between the military, and the GLBTIQ community. and it was a great show too....
final thought...now, one fact i must point out is that i am in australia. we don't have any policy about gay people serving in the defense forces. if you want to serve your country, you can, no matter ur sexual preferences. this is as it should be. why should it matter who i sleep with if i was fighting to defend my country, my people, my nations ideals etc.
my thought is that i am a little saddened that we need to do concerts like this to break down people's perceptions of the military, and the gay community. this concert was born of the choirs desire to perform with a military band. our musical director contacted the defense gay and lesbian information service (DEFGLIS), and it all came together really well. admittedly, the band is comprised of soldiers, people who follow orders for a living, and people who were told that this is the show they are going to do next and that's just the way it is. But they were all really great people. the tenor sax player is in fact a lesbian, so i'm sure she was really glad to be a part of it. the only comment she made to me was when she was carting stuff past me for about the 5th time, and her comment was that being a pack horse came with the job. The bass trombone player asked me halfway through the first show if he could get tickets for the next day so his sister could come. they are just a band (who looked and sounded fantastic) and we are just a community choir. that's how i wish the world viewed us all, not as the gay and lesbian choir, and the band made up of soldiers who by definition must be a little stand offish with us because we are gay. we have come so far in recent decades, but there is still so far to come.
on a slightly different note, this evening (and by this evening, i mean the hours between 11:30pm and 1am) i was having a conversation with a friend in the USA which started out being about "lesbianisms" (like u-hauls and toaster ovens) and ended up being about what we face each day, having to come out regularly, and her trying to get an understanding about what it's like to be in our shoes. It was a really great conversation, and one i will never get tired of having, because every person who wants to know these things is a person on our side. it also added a whole new level of appreciation for this friend, that she wants to spend time asking questions and watching movies, and reading books and just getting to know what it feels like from the other perspective.
that is all (i think...)
i have a few different trains of thought about this. in no particular order...
everything we do every day is "making history". yeah some of it is really boring history, like going to the shops, or looking for employment, or feeding the cat. i'm sure no-one much cares about these parts of my life, but maybe one day in the very distant future someone will look back on this, and the (current day) very ordinary fact that i am writing a blog about it, and say "wow, is that how they did things in 2010" we can never know this for sure. i know i love social history, not about dates and facts and wars and treaties, but about dances and letter writing, and courting, and dress making. the every day stuff that we don't think of as making history...
thought 2. i'm really glad to have been part of something that comes under the heading of "slightly more interesting history". I'm glad that we have had the opportunity to break down some of the perceived barriers between the military, and the GLBTIQ community. and it was a great show too....
final thought...now, one fact i must point out is that i am in australia. we don't have any policy about gay people serving in the defense forces. if you want to serve your country, you can, no matter ur sexual preferences. this is as it should be. why should it matter who i sleep with if i was fighting to defend my country, my people, my nations ideals etc.
my thought is that i am a little saddened that we need to do concerts like this to break down people's perceptions of the military, and the gay community. this concert was born of the choirs desire to perform with a military band. our musical director contacted the defense gay and lesbian information service (DEFGLIS), and it all came together really well. admittedly, the band is comprised of soldiers, people who follow orders for a living, and people who were told that this is the show they are going to do next and that's just the way it is. But they were all really great people. the tenor sax player is in fact a lesbian, so i'm sure she was really glad to be a part of it. the only comment she made to me was when she was carting stuff past me for about the 5th time, and her comment was that being a pack horse came with the job. The bass trombone player asked me halfway through the first show if he could get tickets for the next day so his sister could come. they are just a band (who looked and sounded fantastic) and we are just a community choir. that's how i wish the world viewed us all, not as the gay and lesbian choir, and the band made up of soldiers who by definition must be a little stand offish with us because we are gay. we have come so far in recent decades, but there is still so far to come.
on a slightly different note, this evening (and by this evening, i mean the hours between 11:30pm and 1am) i was having a conversation with a friend in the USA which started out being about "lesbianisms" (like u-hauls and toaster ovens) and ended up being about what we face each day, having to come out regularly, and her trying to get an understanding about what it's like to be in our shoes. It was a really great conversation, and one i will never get tired of having, because every person who wants to know these things is a person on our side. it also added a whole new level of appreciation for this friend, that she wants to spend time asking questions and watching movies, and reading books and just getting to know what it feels like from the other perspective.
that is all (i think...)
20100514
good things that happened today
my shower was really nice and hot
i got to work on time.
i got coffee
i got a box from Wine selectors!!!! upon checking it later, it turned out to be 4 really nice red wine glasses and a bottle of 2004 cab sav shiraz - multi-award winner. apparently mum singed up to wine selectors coz i am signed up, and so i got a free gift!
as i was leaving work i noted that there was pink fluff on the carpet. mum said i could iron the carpet tomorrow.... made me laugh
mum told me we are having my b'day dinner tomorrow. about a month early...
i got a really sweet text message from a friend. (i still need to reply)
i had yummy steamed things for dinner.
there were other things that were less fun, but i decided not to dwell on them, and only think about the good things.
that is all.
i got to work on time.
i got coffee
i got a box from Wine selectors!!!! upon checking it later, it turned out to be 4 really nice red wine glasses and a bottle of 2004 cab sav shiraz - multi-award winner. apparently mum singed up to wine selectors coz i am signed up, and so i got a free gift!
as i was leaving work i noted that there was pink fluff on the carpet. mum said i could iron the carpet tomorrow.... made me laugh
mum told me we are having my b'day dinner tomorrow. about a month early...
i got a really sweet text message from a friend. (i still need to reply)
i had yummy steamed things for dinner.
there were other things that were less fun, but i decided not to dwell on them, and only think about the good things.
that is all.
20100511
old money.
i got handed an old $5 note the other day. it wasn't a fantastic old paper one, it was that first plastic one, with the wishy washy colours that people obviously complained about, because it got changed...
back in the good old days we had notes for all the dollar amounts. $1 was brown, $2 was green, $5 - pink-ish, $10 - blue, $20 - orange, $50 kinda yellow, $100 a very boring grey. (some pictured here and others here ). i remember in 1988 i saved up a months pocket money to go to the bank before school (we started school at 9:25am) and get a brand new $2 coin. i showed everyone in my class and all the teachers (i was 8...) and then promptly spent it on a candy induced belly ache...
when i was a teen $5 and higher were changing from paper to plastic. i decided to collect them as they were phased out, and had $88 stuck to my wardrobe door for a good few moths. then one day they were gone, and my sister said the neighbour must have stolen them. we used to leave our back door unlocked. but i was not that naive... wasn't much i could do about it though, but the upshot is i no longer have all bar one of the paper notes...
being handed an old wishy washy just reminded me, that's all.
back in the good old days we had notes for all the dollar amounts. $1 was brown, $2 was green, $5 - pink-ish, $10 - blue, $20 - orange, $50 kinda yellow, $100 a very boring grey. (some pictured here and others here ). i remember in 1988 i saved up a months pocket money to go to the bank before school (we started school at 9:25am) and get a brand new $2 coin. i showed everyone in my class and all the teachers (i was 8...) and then promptly spent it on a candy induced belly ache...
when i was a teen $5 and higher were changing from paper to plastic. i decided to collect them as they were phased out, and had $88 stuck to my wardrobe door for a good few moths. then one day they were gone, and my sister said the neighbour must have stolen them. we used to leave our back door unlocked. but i was not that naive... wasn't much i could do about it though, but the upshot is i no longer have all bar one of the paper notes...
being handed an old wishy washy just reminded me, that's all.
20100505
the filing cabinet...
and instant noodles...
tonight i had to go down to the filing cabinet. it's in the garage, and squashed up against other stuff that i am storing there, like a punching bag and half a house full of antique furniture. I needed to find the certificate that says i can responsibly serve alcohol, and therefore can get a job in any establishment that sells alcohol. a very useful thing to have these days, and didn't cost me anything to get when i did it 6yrs ago. Thankfully my certificate and transcript were in a box on top of the filing cabinet so no heavy lifting was required *putting my butch card away, undusted*
While i was there i also found some old transcripts which i might need when i enroll in a university preparation course tomorrow. ya know, i'm 30 now, figured it was probably about time i went to uni... and i have finally found something that inspires me enough to want to live on instant noodles for the next 4yrs. So, in honour of my enrollment tomorrow, i am having instant noodles for dinner. right now, at 10:31pm, and straight from the pyrex measuring jug in which i cooked them in the microwave. so very student life style. all i need is a beer and i would have this thing in the bag! *sipping my G&T* whaaaa!?!?!!
while i was looking for my RSA i also found a highly entertaining letter from a teacher, written to my mother in may 1994. i was about to be 15. the fact that i have it, and it has been severely scrunched and then flattened suggests to me that my mother never saw it...
but here it is for you, typed out exactly as written.
25.5.1994
Languages Faculty
Dear Mrs Clarke (not only spelt wrong, but my mother went by Ms.)
We are very concerned about Alex progress/conduct/attendance in Latin.
What particularly concerns us regarding your son/daughter is:
~ regular histrionic behaviour & lack of self control.
~ disruptions to others through talking and above.
~ underachievement in classwork & tests
~ lack of positive attitude to do the right thing.
~ short attention span & inability to focus due to other agenda
~ she is difficult to discipline and very volatile
We would be pleased to discuss this matter with you. Please call the school for an appointment with your son/daughter's subject teacher, Ms. Diana Fraser.
Your faithfully
N.W. JENNINGS
HEAD TEACHER, LANGUAGES
Now, Mr Jennings wouldn't have been able to identify me if he walked into our classroom, and there were only about 12 of us in the class.
I remember making life Hell for Ms fraser, for a very short period. I loved Latin, and i loved my latin teacher in yr 7 and 8, and then over summer she was gone and we had Ms Fraser. if i had not been such a pain in the arse i could have easily passed latin, even got close to 100%. the language makes sense, and she would translate everything for us in class. if i had just written stuff down i could have aced the class. but something about her rubbed me the wrong way. quite possibly it was the fact that she translated everything for us in class. there was no autonomy in her class room. not long after the letter she kicked me out, and said i was not welcome back in her class until i had been to see the counselor. Now seeing a counselor is useless if you are sent there, i know this for a fact, my mother sent me to one when i came out. I had no intention of going to see the school counselor, so i just didn't go to class for two months. when i returned to class she was as sweet as pie to me. She put the rest of the class on yellow slips one day, but not me (yellow slips have to be signed by every teacher for a week to say you attended class and behaved. not sure what the consequence was though). for a few months i paid attention, wrote stuff down, got a really good mark on my end of yr exam that year. over the summer i seem to recall something being said about her not wanting me in her class the following year. Now, this was a 2yr course, and as i'm sure you can imagine by the small size of my class, there was no other latin class for me to attend, so i went to see my year adviser and she sorted it out. I went to latin, continued as i had at the end of the previous year, behaving, paying attention, doing well. then one day, mid term, mid week, completely without warning we had a new teacher. i thought he was a substitute teacher and so asked jokingly if Ms Fraser had gone. when he said yes i almost fell over. now i didn't much like him either, but he was just boring, and made us do the work ourselves (as we should have been for the previous yr and a bit). this is where it showed that i had not been listening for over 6 months. my final exam mark for Latin was 9%. yes that's correct. 9%. the grade on my report card is a D. how the hell you get a percentage mark in single figures and not get a fail is beyond me. I still love latin, but the phrases i have retained are useless. i can say thing like "alas, the dog is annoying me" (ehue, canis et meum vexat), "oh no, i'm dead" (ecce, mortuus sum), "mother is in the hall, the dog is in the street" (Mater est in atrio, canis est in via) and "Grumio is in the kitchen pleasing the slave girl" (Grumio est in culina, delectat ancilla). that last one is my favourite.
but seriously. why did i ever choose to study latin???
tonight i had to go down to the filing cabinet. it's in the garage, and squashed up against other stuff that i am storing there, like a punching bag and half a house full of antique furniture. I needed to find the certificate that says i can responsibly serve alcohol, and therefore can get a job in any establishment that sells alcohol. a very useful thing to have these days, and didn't cost me anything to get when i did it 6yrs ago. Thankfully my certificate and transcript were in a box on top of the filing cabinet so no heavy lifting was required *putting my butch card away, undusted*
While i was there i also found some old transcripts which i might need when i enroll in a university preparation course tomorrow. ya know, i'm 30 now, figured it was probably about time i went to uni... and i have finally found something that inspires me enough to want to live on instant noodles for the next 4yrs. So, in honour of my enrollment tomorrow, i am having instant noodles for dinner. right now, at 10:31pm, and straight from the pyrex measuring jug in which i cooked them in the microwave. so very student life style. all i need is a beer and i would have this thing in the bag! *sipping my G&T* whaaaa!?!?!!
while i was looking for my RSA i also found a highly entertaining letter from a teacher, written to my mother in may 1994. i was about to be 15. the fact that i have it, and it has been severely scrunched and then flattened suggests to me that my mother never saw it...
but here it is for you, typed out exactly as written.
25.5.1994
Languages Faculty
Dear Mrs Clarke (not only spelt wrong, but my mother went by Ms.)
We are very concerned about Alex progress/conduct/attendance in Latin.
What particularly concerns us regarding your son/daughter is:
~ regular histrionic behaviour & lack of self control.
~ disruptions to others through talking and above.
~ underachievement in classwork & tests
~ lack of positive attitude to do the right thing.
~ short attention span & inability to focus due to other agenda
~ she is difficult to discipline and very volatile
We would be pleased to discuss this matter with you. Please call the school for an appointment with your son/daughter's subject teacher, Ms. Diana Fraser.
Your faithfully
N.W. JENNINGS
HEAD TEACHER, LANGUAGES
Now, Mr Jennings wouldn't have been able to identify me if he walked into our classroom, and there were only about 12 of us in the class.
I remember making life Hell for Ms fraser, for a very short period. I loved Latin, and i loved my latin teacher in yr 7 and 8, and then over summer she was gone and we had Ms Fraser. if i had not been such a pain in the arse i could have easily passed latin, even got close to 100%. the language makes sense, and she would translate everything for us in class. if i had just written stuff down i could have aced the class. but something about her rubbed me the wrong way. quite possibly it was the fact that she translated everything for us in class. there was no autonomy in her class room. not long after the letter she kicked me out, and said i was not welcome back in her class until i had been to see the counselor. Now seeing a counselor is useless if you are sent there, i know this for a fact, my mother sent me to one when i came out. I had no intention of going to see the school counselor, so i just didn't go to class for two months. when i returned to class she was as sweet as pie to me. She put the rest of the class on yellow slips one day, but not me (yellow slips have to be signed by every teacher for a week to say you attended class and behaved. not sure what the consequence was though). for a few months i paid attention, wrote stuff down, got a really good mark on my end of yr exam that year. over the summer i seem to recall something being said about her not wanting me in her class the following year. Now, this was a 2yr course, and as i'm sure you can imagine by the small size of my class, there was no other latin class for me to attend, so i went to see my year adviser and she sorted it out. I went to latin, continued as i had at the end of the previous year, behaving, paying attention, doing well. then one day, mid term, mid week, completely without warning we had a new teacher. i thought he was a substitute teacher and so asked jokingly if Ms Fraser had gone. when he said yes i almost fell over. now i didn't much like him either, but he was just boring, and made us do the work ourselves (as we should have been for the previous yr and a bit). this is where it showed that i had not been listening for over 6 months. my final exam mark for Latin was 9%. yes that's correct. 9%. the grade on my report card is a D. how the hell you get a percentage mark in single figures and not get a fail is beyond me. I still love latin, but the phrases i have retained are useless. i can say thing like "alas, the dog is annoying me" (ehue, canis et meum vexat), "oh no, i'm dead" (ecce, mortuus sum), "mother is in the hall, the dog is in the street" (Mater est in atrio, canis est in via) and "Grumio is in the kitchen pleasing the slave girl" (Grumio est in culina, delectat ancilla). that last one is my favourite.
but seriously. why did i ever choose to study latin???
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