In her radio show, Dr. Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a U.S. resident, which was posted on the Internet.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.
I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to
defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them
that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End
of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a
fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem
is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I
smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there
'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some
wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden
by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to
death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep
with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can
help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.
Your adoring fan.
James M. Kauffman,
Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia
(It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian :)
20100723
i think this is why
i have always hated studying english literature. I love words, and i love books. i particularly love poetry, with it's rhythms and melodies and imagery.
I love T.S.Eliot. i used his works as the basis of art works in high school, specifically Rhapsody on a Windy Night.
right now he is hurting me.
I am struggling to write an essay about "the fragmentation and failure of identity in the modern city", in reference to the work of T.S. Eliot. i "get" his work, i understand what he is saying to me, but i understand it in imagery and art work, not fragmentation and failure of identity. and it was pointed out to me tonight that my biggest issue/block with this is that i don;t want to face my own identity or lack there of. and that is true and correct. I am fairly aware of the fact that there are things in my life that i "handle" that i should probably go and deal with. do i have a sense of abandonment that means i fear commitment? or am i just using that as an excuse to make myself feel better about being the dumpER, rather than the dumpEE. have those two nights of drunken misadventure as a teen had a bigger and deeper impact on my life than i recognise. i don;t know, and i am scared to find out. i am scared to discuss these issues with anyone who may be able to give me the answers. scared to find out the truth. I handle my emotions, my possible (but mostly undiagnosed) depression. I have a good strong brain that makes me get through the days, and i feel both the highs and lows of emotion, but not in a manic way. but am i just handling something that i really should be dealing with? would my life be that much different if i went to see a professional about this and discovered that, yes, i do have issues that need to be brought up and discussed, and put to bed. or maybe i have no issues and i am just a psychiatric hypochondriac.
But i'm scared to find out.
that is all.
I love T.S.Eliot. i used his works as the basis of art works in high school, specifically Rhapsody on a Windy Night.
right now he is hurting me.
I am struggling to write an essay about "the fragmentation and failure of identity in the modern city", in reference to the work of T.S. Eliot. i "get" his work, i understand what he is saying to me, but i understand it in imagery and art work, not fragmentation and failure of identity. and it was pointed out to me tonight that my biggest issue/block with this is that i don;t want to face my own identity or lack there of. and that is true and correct. I am fairly aware of the fact that there are things in my life that i "handle" that i should probably go and deal with. do i have a sense of abandonment that means i fear commitment? or am i just using that as an excuse to make myself feel better about being the dumpER, rather than the dumpEE. have those two nights of drunken misadventure as a teen had a bigger and deeper impact on my life than i recognise. i don;t know, and i am scared to find out. i am scared to discuss these issues with anyone who may be able to give me the answers. scared to find out the truth. I handle my emotions, my possible (but mostly undiagnosed) depression. I have a good strong brain that makes me get through the days, and i feel both the highs and lows of emotion, but not in a manic way. but am i just handling something that i really should be dealing with? would my life be that much different if i went to see a professional about this and discovered that, yes, i do have issues that need to be brought up and discussed, and put to bed. or maybe i have no issues and i am just a psychiatric hypochondriac.
But i'm scared to find out.
that is all.
20100629
who's right?
i have two jobs. one is in a costume hire store, one is in a cafe. i have been working (officially) in the costume store for about 6 weeks, but unofficially for 6 months. the boss knows i have been doing some work, but is unaware of exactly how much (he thinks maybe a day every week or two, truth is closer to a day or two every week). for the next three mondays i am going to be working with the CH store manager, shadowing, then being shadowed to make sure i know what i am doing. i have been working independently and successfully for ages, and in my "training" period with him i have proved that i can do everything he has asked of me, with skill and accuracy. I have proved myself as a competent worker, and yet he continues to treat me as a trainee who must be supervised.
I have been working at the cafe for less than 2 weeks. a grand total of 6 shifts now. last week i was offered the chance to do my certificate 3 in hospitality through them - they pay for me to do the course. this was after 3 shifts. i accepted and today we sat and talked about what it would mean. permanent part time, which means guaranteed hours, holiday pay, sick leave... a qualification i can take with me if/when i decide to move on. a near future promotion to shift supervisor with a view to part time manager by the end of the year.
so. who is right? am i an incompetent noob who has to be watched, or am i a fast learning hard worker worth keeping and training for bigger and better things??? i know which one i am...
that is all.
I have been working at the cafe for less than 2 weeks. a grand total of 6 shifts now. last week i was offered the chance to do my certificate 3 in hospitality through them - they pay for me to do the course. this was after 3 shifts. i accepted and today we sat and talked about what it would mean. permanent part time, which means guaranteed hours, holiday pay, sick leave... a qualification i can take with me if/when i decide to move on. a near future promotion to shift supervisor with a view to part time manager by the end of the year.
so. who is right? am i an incompetent noob who has to be watched, or am i a fast learning hard worker worth keeping and training for bigger and better things??? i know which one i am...
that is all.
20100627
4 people
there are 4 people i talk to pretty much every day, in one form or another, and my day doesn't feel complete if i don't talk to them. by talk i mean on the phone, in person, by text, or somewhere online, email, twitter, facebook, skype, a chat room, or a ship. the thing about these 4 people is, only one lives in the same area as me, only 2 of them in the same country, and only three in the same hemisphere. yes, i have a friend in america, whom i speak to every day pretty much, and the days we don't actually chat, there is generally some small form of contact, but it just doesn't feel the same. chatting with these people has become integral to my day. i tell these friends that i miss them when i don't see them. i very rarely actually see them in person, except for the one local, who if i don't see twice a week, i feel like i am missing out.
I count myself as so lucky to have these 4 friends, not luckier to have them than my other friends, but these four stand out as part of my day. and i know i fit the same category in their lives.
thank you for being my friends.
that is all
I count myself as so lucky to have these 4 friends, not luckier to have them than my other friends, but these four stand out as part of my day. and i know i fit the same category in their lives.
thank you for being my friends.
that is all
20100626
you will one day...
i smoke. sometimes i don't. most people are surprised when they see me smoking for the first time, especially if they've known me for a few years... i'm what you'd call an anti-social smoker. i tend not to smoke around other people. You can't smoke in pubs and clubs here anymore, so it's not like i go out and have a beer and a smoke with friends, most of whom are singers, and most singers don't smoke anyway. i have only 1 or 2 friends who smoke at all, and one of them is only a sometimes smoker, like maybe one every month or so. i don't smoke at cafes because people are eating, and i would rather not do that to non smokers... but all of that is beside the point really.
the point is i have smoked on and off for a great number of years. the longest i have gone without smoking since i started was three years. i think my biggest issue is not that i can't quit, it's that i actually enjoy it. smoking that is, not quitting. i know it's bad for me. i know it smells. i smoke maybe 2 or three a day, so it's not like i am a chimney. some days even when i have some on hand i might not smoke at all. i have lots of friends telling me that i have to quit, it's bad for me, it's bad for my voice. that i can't afford it (which is sometimes true). None of these people "having a go at me" has ever inspired me to quit at all
Yesterday i had a friend say "you will one day". very simple. one day "I" will be ready to quit, for me. not quitting coz someone else is telling me i should. I think this is the closest someone has ever come to inspiring me to quit. i am not about to do it today, but yes, i will, one day.
that is all.
the point is i have smoked on and off for a great number of years. the longest i have gone without smoking since i started was three years. i think my biggest issue is not that i can't quit, it's that i actually enjoy it. smoking that is, not quitting. i know it's bad for me. i know it smells. i smoke maybe 2 or three a day, so it's not like i am a chimney. some days even when i have some on hand i might not smoke at all. i have lots of friends telling me that i have to quit, it's bad for me, it's bad for my voice. that i can't afford it (which is sometimes true). None of these people "having a go at me" has ever inspired me to quit at all
Yesterday i had a friend say "you will one day". very simple. one day "I" will be ready to quit, for me. not quitting coz someone else is telling me i should. I think this is the closest someone has ever come to inspiring me to quit. i am not about to do it today, but yes, i will, one day.
that is all.
as i changed lanes
completely on autopilot, i had a random remembering of why. i have driven that road and that route for years. when you come around that corner, there is almost guaranteed to be a queue of cars waiting to turn right, and if you aren't in the left lane, you will get caught behind them... but for the first time in a long time, it made me think of the reason i used to travel this route, which is different to the reason i travel it now. i used to know someone who lived up there. now he doesn't live there, and i wish i had never known him. but you can't choose your family.
anyway, once upon a time that trip took my mum 12 mins to do. when i type the addresses in question into google maps, they say it is a 39min trip... times have changed. Mum would never attempt to do that trip at that speed anymore, though she would still make the trip. I would still make it at that speed, but will never go there ever again.
some things that you never think will change, do. and other things just don't. i don't have a point other than that really. was just a random remembering...
that is all.
anyway, once upon a time that trip took my mum 12 mins to do. when i type the addresses in question into google maps, they say it is a 39min trip... times have changed. Mum would never attempt to do that trip at that speed anymore, though she would still make the trip. I would still make it at that speed, but will never go there ever again.
some things that you never think will change, do. and other things just don't. i don't have a point other than that really. was just a random remembering...
that is all.
family dinner
aka Sunday Soup.
early today i got a message. "family night dinner tomm night? are you free?..."
now, it turns out i am free, as i keep sunday nights free almost on principal, and on the not so off chance that i will get a text like that. the thing that thrills me about this text is, it's not from anyone who is related to me. I have been accepted into sunday soup family dinner night, regardless of the fact that i am not family. i can't put into words how special this makes me feel.
that is all.
early today i got a message. "family night dinner tomm night? are you free?..."
now, it turns out i am free, as i keep sunday nights free almost on principal, and on the not so off chance that i will get a text like that. the thing that thrills me about this text is, it's not from anyone who is related to me. I have been accepted into sunday soup family dinner night, regardless of the fact that i am not family. i can't put into words how special this makes me feel.
that is all.
20100623
DNR
yeah, that's right. Do. Not. Resuscitate.
for a long time i have been a believer in something akin to the theory of natural selection, survival of the fittest. If you are born with a genetic life disfiguring disease, and one of the attributes is the inability to reproduce, then perhaps it's a sign from a higher power that you having kids is not meant to be on the card. Do Not seek medical assistance in this matter. if you don't have any other issues, and infertility seems to be just something you got lumped with, then by all means - go for it.
i have always had the view that i don't really want to be old. i don't put an age on this - to me "old" is a state of frailty. the inability to look after yourself anymore, whether it be caused by physical or mental atrophy. that is old. if your 90 (like my grandfather) and still mowing your own lawns and cleaning your own gutters and playing tennis twice a week and giving lectures on nuclear physics at a local community college, then you are not old. if you are 70 and can't get out of bed without help because of a stroke and suffer from dementia making recovery from aforementioned stroke unlikely in the extreme, then you are old.
genetics in my family put me more in the first category than the second, and in that i am lucky. if i get parkinsons at 55, and then dementia at 60 - i don't want to be alive. if i make it 2 to 90 and still wish my kids would walk faster because i have places to be, then let me keep living (and keep up!)
today i read an article that made me think. if i have a stroke that would kill me without medical intervention, then i want to die. if i have a dicky heart that will only keep functioning with a pace maker, then i want to die. if i have cancer that chemo only has a chance of irradiating, or that is inoperable, then i want it to be left to run it's course.
there comes a point where too much medical assistance is too much. sure, if i am going to live anyway then yes, please, make it comfortable. but if without medical help i would die, then it's my time. let me go. I don;t want to live on and be a burden to anyone, and i don't believe that medical miracles are always a miracle.
that is all
for a long time i have been a believer in something akin to the theory of natural selection, survival of the fittest. If you are born with a genetic life disfiguring disease, and one of the attributes is the inability to reproduce, then perhaps it's a sign from a higher power that you having kids is not meant to be on the card. Do Not seek medical assistance in this matter. if you don't have any other issues, and infertility seems to be just something you got lumped with, then by all means - go for it.
i have always had the view that i don't really want to be old. i don't put an age on this - to me "old" is a state of frailty. the inability to look after yourself anymore, whether it be caused by physical or mental atrophy. that is old. if your 90 (like my grandfather) and still mowing your own lawns and cleaning your own gutters and playing tennis twice a week and giving lectures on nuclear physics at a local community college, then you are not old. if you are 70 and can't get out of bed without help because of a stroke and suffer from dementia making recovery from aforementioned stroke unlikely in the extreme, then you are old.
genetics in my family put me more in the first category than the second, and in that i am lucky. if i get parkinsons at 55, and then dementia at 60 - i don't want to be alive. if i make it 2 to 90 and still wish my kids would walk faster because i have places to be, then let me keep living (and keep up!)
today i read an article that made me think. if i have a stroke that would kill me without medical intervention, then i want to die. if i have a dicky heart that will only keep functioning with a pace maker, then i want to die. if i have cancer that chemo only has a chance of irradiating, or that is inoperable, then i want it to be left to run it's course.
there comes a point where too much medical assistance is too much. sure, if i am going to live anyway then yes, please, make it comfortable. but if without medical help i would die, then it's my time. let me go. I don;t want to live on and be a burden to anyone, and i don't believe that medical miracles are always a miracle.
that is all
20100617
we'll chalk that one up to experience.
i have a spare room i am trying to rent out. i put an ad online. today i had 2 people come to look.
the first guy didn't have a lot to say. my friend asked a few questions, one of which gave me quite a shock... "Are you likely to have friends over often?" i mean, of course that makes perfect sense, but i hadn't even thought about that. and the tv and my desk and computer are in the same room... anyway, that's be a no for him...
the second guy walked in and asked if there would be a desk in the room, and would i provide linen, and did i have a drier. no, no and no. he then said it looks good and can he sign the contract. NO...
i have someone else coming on the weekend. we'll see how that goes, but i may end up going with the devil i know...
the first guy didn't have a lot to say. my friend asked a few questions, one of which gave me quite a shock... "Are you likely to have friends over often?" i mean, of course that makes perfect sense, but i hadn't even thought about that. and the tv and my desk and computer are in the same room... anyway, that's be a no for him...
the second guy walked in and asked if there would be a desk in the room, and would i provide linen, and did i have a drier. no, no and no. he then said it looks good and can he sign the contract. NO...
i have someone else coming on the weekend. we'll see how that goes, but i may end up going with the devil i know...
20100607
life can be scarily short
a few months ago a friend of mine was unwell. nothing was said about what, we just knew she'd been in hospital and that she was really tired as a result. I made a few guesses, which were very intelligent, but as it turns out, very wrong. This friend is not yet 30, leads a very healthy lifestyle, eats in moderation, doesn't smoke, exercises, doesn't drink much, eats lots of home grown organic vegies, is slim and gorgeous. picture of everything we all aspire to do and be.
last night i found out her trip to hospital was because she had a heart attack.
at 29, she had a heart attack. i am still processing this, but it terrifies me. sometimes it just doesn't matter how well you look after yourself, or how young you are. life is precarious, and we can't just let it wander on by...
that is all
last night i found out her trip to hospital was because she had a heart attack.
at 29, she had a heart attack. i am still processing this, but it terrifies me. sometimes it just doesn't matter how well you look after yourself, or how young you are. life is precarious, and we can't just let it wander on by...
that is all
20100531
the fact that you matter isn't always a good thing
A few nights ago i went to see "A little Night Music" with Catherine Zeta Jones and Angela Lansbury. I knew nothing about the show. It was good, and they were both great. without them though, the show would have meant very little to me. they matter, to the exclusion of the show being good.
tonight i went to see "Next to Normal". I really wanted to see Alice Ripley, for a variety of reasons, none of them because i know her work, or even really know anything she has done. I know she won the Tony last year, and i have another fact or three about her, but that's all. I also knew nothing about the show, other than i have heard people say it's pretty heavy, but really good. I sat down, opened my playbill and two little 'understudy' slips fell out. "At this performance the role of DAN will be played by Michael Berry". "At this performance the role of DIANA will be played by Jessica Phillips". flick through playbill, Diana and Dan are the two leads. fuck. there goes Alice Ripley. oh well, such is life, that's what you get seeing a show on a sunday night of a holiday weekend.
Lights down, show starts. within seconds i had a feeling. within a few songs i was wiping tears from my cheeks and wondering if i could buy a songbook. by interval i was wishing i had a tissue and spent $90 on a program, the CD, the song book, a keyring, a hat. I have been found by this show. i can't put it into words. this show is what i needed right now - not because i necessarily associate with the story line, not necessarily because i was feeling down and needed a pick me up (coz this show ain't it). i can't explain it. This show is going to be the new "rent" in my life. the show i will see every chance i get. the show i will know all the words too within a week. the show i will sing as i walk down the street. the show i will perform songs from if i ever get the chance. the show i will tell everyone i can to go and see. (seriously - if you have the chance, SEE IT). the show i will audition to be a part of if it ever gets to amateur theatre in australia, even though the whole cast is only 6 people.
i waited at the stage door after and got signatures. i have never done that before, not even when i finally got the chance to see Rent in NYC. Jessica noted my accent in the three words i said, so i had a chance to say a few more. i told her she was amazing, that i had come to see the show "on spec" (which is mostly true) and that it was just amazing that i had to buy the lot! She is gorgeous, amazingly talented. I am so glad to have seen the show.
The clincher here is that She didn't matter. Alice didn't matter. The show matters. the show carried itself. She was brilliant. she matters, but not to the exclusion of the show.
that is all
tonight i went to see "Next to Normal". I really wanted to see Alice Ripley, for a variety of reasons, none of them because i know her work, or even really know anything she has done. I know she won the Tony last year, and i have another fact or three about her, but that's all. I also knew nothing about the show, other than i have heard people say it's pretty heavy, but really good. I sat down, opened my playbill and two little 'understudy' slips fell out. "At this performance the role of DAN will be played by Michael Berry". "At this performance the role of DIANA will be played by Jessica Phillips". flick through playbill, Diana and Dan are the two leads. fuck. there goes Alice Ripley. oh well, such is life, that's what you get seeing a show on a sunday night of a holiday weekend.
Lights down, show starts. within seconds i had a feeling. within a few songs i was wiping tears from my cheeks and wondering if i could buy a songbook. by interval i was wishing i had a tissue and spent $90 on a program, the CD, the song book, a keyring, a hat. I have been found by this show. i can't put it into words. this show is what i needed right now - not because i necessarily associate with the story line, not necessarily because i was feeling down and needed a pick me up (coz this show ain't it). i can't explain it. This show is going to be the new "rent" in my life. the show i will see every chance i get. the show i will know all the words too within a week. the show i will sing as i walk down the street. the show i will perform songs from if i ever get the chance. the show i will tell everyone i can to go and see. (seriously - if you have the chance, SEE IT). the show i will audition to be a part of if it ever gets to amateur theatre in australia, even though the whole cast is only 6 people.
i waited at the stage door after and got signatures. i have never done that before, not even when i finally got the chance to see Rent in NYC. Jessica noted my accent in the three words i said, so i had a chance to say a few more. i told her she was amazing, that i had come to see the show "on spec" (which is mostly true) and that it was just amazing that i had to buy the lot! She is gorgeous, amazingly talented. I am so glad to have seen the show.
The clincher here is that She didn't matter. Alice didn't matter. The show matters. the show carried itself. She was brilliant. she matters, but not to the exclusion of the show.
that is all
20100527
thing to remember about NYC
look left, keep right. the light switches are upside down, the toilets are just fuller and even though it looks like a zebra crossing, it isn't one...
it's the little things. the smell of the subway, the smell in the hallway that reminds me of the little softener sheets i used to put in with the clothes to dry.
Monday may 24th. again. still. on the subway. Across from me is a lady, i'm gonna say she's Korean, about 50. not sure why korean, she could be from any asian country, she just strikes me as korean. she is enjoying her own company greatly, chatting, laughing, smiling. just really happy. makes her look a bit mad, , but who are we to judge? i've been known to be walking down the street and been hit by a memory, or a thought, or a future plan and it cracks me up, or makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt.
Movies on the plane - Avatar, Precious, a Tim Minchin doco and a movie about John Lennon as a boy - nowhere boy i think.
Apparently launch hasn't happened yet and may be being held till all three of us are around.
I need to get a subway map. i have no idea where i am, and only half an idea of where i am going...
it's the little things. the smell of the subway, the smell in the hallway that reminds me of the little softener sheets i used to put in with the clothes to dry.
Monday may 24th. again. still. on the subway. Across from me is a lady, i'm gonna say she's Korean, about 50. not sure why korean, she could be from any asian country, she just strikes me as korean. she is enjoying her own company greatly, chatting, laughing, smiling. just really happy. makes her look a bit mad, , but who are we to judge? i've been known to be walking down the street and been hit by a memory, or a thought, or a future plan and it cracks me up, or makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt.
Movies on the plane - Avatar, Precious, a Tim Minchin doco and a movie about John Lennon as a boy - nowhere boy i think.
Apparently launch hasn't happened yet and may be being held till all three of us are around.
I need to get a subway map. i have no idea where i am, and only half an idea of where i am going...
things i wanted to tweet from the plane
red wine with my meal - not sure which meal of the day it was though...
finally watching avatar. it's about time.
i really like this blanket. will be glad to add it to my collection
empty seat next to me FTW
the hostesses and stewards are all really lovely
(that was all, there isn't a lot of mental stimulation on planes...)
finally watching avatar. it's about time.
i really like this blanket. will be glad to add it to my collection
empty seat next to me FTW
the hostesses and stewards are all really lovely
(that was all, there isn't a lot of mental stimulation on planes...)
20100523
today i was part of making history.
last night and today the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Choir made history along with the Sydney detachment of the Royal Australian Navy Band. We did a joint concert. it is the first time the navy band has performed with a gay and lesbian community organisation, the first time any defense in Australia have had a collaboration like this. possibly even the first time in the world.
i have a few different trains of thought about this. in no particular order...
everything we do every day is "making history". yeah some of it is really boring history, like going to the shops, or looking for employment, or feeding the cat. i'm sure no-one much cares about these parts of my life, but maybe one day in the very distant future someone will look back on this, and the (current day) very ordinary fact that i am writing a blog about it, and say "wow, is that how they did things in 2010" we can never know this for sure. i know i love social history, not about dates and facts and wars and treaties, but about dances and letter writing, and courting, and dress making. the every day stuff that we don't think of as making history...
thought 2. i'm really glad to have been part of something that comes under the heading of "slightly more interesting history". I'm glad that we have had the opportunity to break down some of the perceived barriers between the military, and the GLBTIQ community. and it was a great show too....
final thought...now, one fact i must point out is that i am in australia. we don't have any policy about gay people serving in the defense forces. if you want to serve your country, you can, no matter ur sexual preferences. this is as it should be. why should it matter who i sleep with if i was fighting to defend my country, my people, my nations ideals etc.
my thought is that i am a little saddened that we need to do concerts like this to break down people's perceptions of the military, and the gay community. this concert was born of the choirs desire to perform with a military band. our musical director contacted the defense gay and lesbian information service (DEFGLIS), and it all came together really well. admittedly, the band is comprised of soldiers, people who follow orders for a living, and people who were told that this is the show they are going to do next and that's just the way it is. But they were all really great people. the tenor sax player is in fact a lesbian, so i'm sure she was really glad to be a part of it. the only comment she made to me was when she was carting stuff past me for about the 5th time, and her comment was that being a pack horse came with the job. The bass trombone player asked me halfway through the first show if he could get tickets for the next day so his sister could come. they are just a band (who looked and sounded fantastic) and we are just a community choir. that's how i wish the world viewed us all, not as the gay and lesbian choir, and the band made up of soldiers who by definition must be a little stand offish with us because we are gay. we have come so far in recent decades, but there is still so far to come.
on a slightly different note, this evening (and by this evening, i mean the hours between 11:30pm and 1am) i was having a conversation with a friend in the USA which started out being about "lesbianisms" (like u-hauls and toaster ovens) and ended up being about what we face each day, having to come out regularly, and her trying to get an understanding about what it's like to be in our shoes. It was a really great conversation, and one i will never get tired of having, because every person who wants to know these things is a person on our side. it also added a whole new level of appreciation for this friend, that she wants to spend time asking questions and watching movies, and reading books and just getting to know what it feels like from the other perspective.
that is all (i think...)
i have a few different trains of thought about this. in no particular order...
everything we do every day is "making history". yeah some of it is really boring history, like going to the shops, or looking for employment, or feeding the cat. i'm sure no-one much cares about these parts of my life, but maybe one day in the very distant future someone will look back on this, and the (current day) very ordinary fact that i am writing a blog about it, and say "wow, is that how they did things in 2010" we can never know this for sure. i know i love social history, not about dates and facts and wars and treaties, but about dances and letter writing, and courting, and dress making. the every day stuff that we don't think of as making history...
thought 2. i'm really glad to have been part of something that comes under the heading of "slightly more interesting history". I'm glad that we have had the opportunity to break down some of the perceived barriers between the military, and the GLBTIQ community. and it was a great show too....
final thought...now, one fact i must point out is that i am in australia. we don't have any policy about gay people serving in the defense forces. if you want to serve your country, you can, no matter ur sexual preferences. this is as it should be. why should it matter who i sleep with if i was fighting to defend my country, my people, my nations ideals etc.
my thought is that i am a little saddened that we need to do concerts like this to break down people's perceptions of the military, and the gay community. this concert was born of the choirs desire to perform with a military band. our musical director contacted the defense gay and lesbian information service (DEFGLIS), and it all came together really well. admittedly, the band is comprised of soldiers, people who follow orders for a living, and people who were told that this is the show they are going to do next and that's just the way it is. But they were all really great people. the tenor sax player is in fact a lesbian, so i'm sure she was really glad to be a part of it. the only comment she made to me was when she was carting stuff past me for about the 5th time, and her comment was that being a pack horse came with the job. The bass trombone player asked me halfway through the first show if he could get tickets for the next day so his sister could come. they are just a band (who looked and sounded fantastic) and we are just a community choir. that's how i wish the world viewed us all, not as the gay and lesbian choir, and the band made up of soldiers who by definition must be a little stand offish with us because we are gay. we have come so far in recent decades, but there is still so far to come.
on a slightly different note, this evening (and by this evening, i mean the hours between 11:30pm and 1am) i was having a conversation with a friend in the USA which started out being about "lesbianisms" (like u-hauls and toaster ovens) and ended up being about what we face each day, having to come out regularly, and her trying to get an understanding about what it's like to be in our shoes. It was a really great conversation, and one i will never get tired of having, because every person who wants to know these things is a person on our side. it also added a whole new level of appreciation for this friend, that she wants to spend time asking questions and watching movies, and reading books and just getting to know what it feels like from the other perspective.
that is all (i think...)
20100514
good things that happened today
my shower was really nice and hot
i got to work on time.
i got coffee
i got a box from Wine selectors!!!! upon checking it later, it turned out to be 4 really nice red wine glasses and a bottle of 2004 cab sav shiraz - multi-award winner. apparently mum singed up to wine selectors coz i am signed up, and so i got a free gift!
as i was leaving work i noted that there was pink fluff on the carpet. mum said i could iron the carpet tomorrow.... made me laugh
mum told me we are having my b'day dinner tomorrow. about a month early...
i got a really sweet text message from a friend. (i still need to reply)
i had yummy steamed things for dinner.
there were other things that were less fun, but i decided not to dwell on them, and only think about the good things.
that is all.
i got to work on time.
i got coffee
i got a box from Wine selectors!!!! upon checking it later, it turned out to be 4 really nice red wine glasses and a bottle of 2004 cab sav shiraz - multi-award winner. apparently mum singed up to wine selectors coz i am signed up, and so i got a free gift!
as i was leaving work i noted that there was pink fluff on the carpet. mum said i could iron the carpet tomorrow.... made me laugh
mum told me we are having my b'day dinner tomorrow. about a month early...
i got a really sweet text message from a friend. (i still need to reply)
i had yummy steamed things for dinner.
there were other things that were less fun, but i decided not to dwell on them, and only think about the good things.
that is all.
20100511
old money.
i got handed an old $5 note the other day. it wasn't a fantastic old paper one, it was that first plastic one, with the wishy washy colours that people obviously complained about, because it got changed...
back in the good old days we had notes for all the dollar amounts. $1 was brown, $2 was green, $5 - pink-ish, $10 - blue, $20 - orange, $50 kinda yellow, $100 a very boring grey. (some pictured here and others here ). i remember in 1988 i saved up a months pocket money to go to the bank before school (we started school at 9:25am) and get a brand new $2 coin. i showed everyone in my class and all the teachers (i was 8...) and then promptly spent it on a candy induced belly ache...
when i was a teen $5 and higher were changing from paper to plastic. i decided to collect them as they were phased out, and had $88 stuck to my wardrobe door for a good few moths. then one day they were gone, and my sister said the neighbour must have stolen them. we used to leave our back door unlocked. but i was not that naive... wasn't much i could do about it though, but the upshot is i no longer have all bar one of the paper notes...
being handed an old wishy washy just reminded me, that's all.
back in the good old days we had notes for all the dollar amounts. $1 was brown, $2 was green, $5 - pink-ish, $10 - blue, $20 - orange, $50 kinda yellow, $100 a very boring grey. (some pictured here and others here ). i remember in 1988 i saved up a months pocket money to go to the bank before school (we started school at 9:25am) and get a brand new $2 coin. i showed everyone in my class and all the teachers (i was 8...) and then promptly spent it on a candy induced belly ache...
when i was a teen $5 and higher were changing from paper to plastic. i decided to collect them as they were phased out, and had $88 stuck to my wardrobe door for a good few moths. then one day they were gone, and my sister said the neighbour must have stolen them. we used to leave our back door unlocked. but i was not that naive... wasn't much i could do about it though, but the upshot is i no longer have all bar one of the paper notes...
being handed an old wishy washy just reminded me, that's all.
20100505
the filing cabinet...
and instant noodles...
tonight i had to go down to the filing cabinet. it's in the garage, and squashed up against other stuff that i am storing there, like a punching bag and half a house full of antique furniture. I needed to find the certificate that says i can responsibly serve alcohol, and therefore can get a job in any establishment that sells alcohol. a very useful thing to have these days, and didn't cost me anything to get when i did it 6yrs ago. Thankfully my certificate and transcript were in a box on top of the filing cabinet so no heavy lifting was required *putting my butch card away, undusted*
While i was there i also found some old transcripts which i might need when i enroll in a university preparation course tomorrow. ya know, i'm 30 now, figured it was probably about time i went to uni... and i have finally found something that inspires me enough to want to live on instant noodles for the next 4yrs. So, in honour of my enrollment tomorrow, i am having instant noodles for dinner. right now, at 10:31pm, and straight from the pyrex measuring jug in which i cooked them in the microwave. so very student life style. all i need is a beer and i would have this thing in the bag! *sipping my G&T* whaaaa!?!?!!
while i was looking for my RSA i also found a highly entertaining letter from a teacher, written to my mother in may 1994. i was about to be 15. the fact that i have it, and it has been severely scrunched and then flattened suggests to me that my mother never saw it...
but here it is for you, typed out exactly as written.
25.5.1994
Languages Faculty
Dear Mrs Clarke (not only spelt wrong, but my mother went by Ms.)
We are very concerned about Alex progress/conduct/attendance in Latin.
What particularly concerns us regarding your son/daughter is:
~ regular histrionic behaviour & lack of self control.
~ disruptions to others through talking and above.
~ underachievement in classwork & tests
~ lack of positive attitude to do the right thing.
~ short attention span & inability to focus due to other agenda
~ she is difficult to discipline and very volatile
We would be pleased to discuss this matter with you. Please call the school for an appointment with your son/daughter's subject teacher, Ms. Diana Fraser.
Your faithfully
N.W. JENNINGS
HEAD TEACHER, LANGUAGES
Now, Mr Jennings wouldn't have been able to identify me if he walked into our classroom, and there were only about 12 of us in the class.
I remember making life Hell for Ms fraser, for a very short period. I loved Latin, and i loved my latin teacher in yr 7 and 8, and then over summer she was gone and we had Ms Fraser. if i had not been such a pain in the arse i could have easily passed latin, even got close to 100%. the language makes sense, and she would translate everything for us in class. if i had just written stuff down i could have aced the class. but something about her rubbed me the wrong way. quite possibly it was the fact that she translated everything for us in class. there was no autonomy in her class room. not long after the letter she kicked me out, and said i was not welcome back in her class until i had been to see the counselor. Now seeing a counselor is useless if you are sent there, i know this for a fact, my mother sent me to one when i came out. I had no intention of going to see the school counselor, so i just didn't go to class for two months. when i returned to class she was as sweet as pie to me. She put the rest of the class on yellow slips one day, but not me (yellow slips have to be signed by every teacher for a week to say you attended class and behaved. not sure what the consequence was though). for a few months i paid attention, wrote stuff down, got a really good mark on my end of yr exam that year. over the summer i seem to recall something being said about her not wanting me in her class the following year. Now, this was a 2yr course, and as i'm sure you can imagine by the small size of my class, there was no other latin class for me to attend, so i went to see my year adviser and she sorted it out. I went to latin, continued as i had at the end of the previous year, behaving, paying attention, doing well. then one day, mid term, mid week, completely without warning we had a new teacher. i thought he was a substitute teacher and so asked jokingly if Ms Fraser had gone. when he said yes i almost fell over. now i didn't much like him either, but he was just boring, and made us do the work ourselves (as we should have been for the previous yr and a bit). this is where it showed that i had not been listening for over 6 months. my final exam mark for Latin was 9%. yes that's correct. 9%. the grade on my report card is a D. how the hell you get a percentage mark in single figures and not get a fail is beyond me. I still love latin, but the phrases i have retained are useless. i can say thing like "alas, the dog is annoying me" (ehue, canis et meum vexat), "oh no, i'm dead" (ecce, mortuus sum), "mother is in the hall, the dog is in the street" (Mater est in atrio, canis est in via) and "Grumio is in the kitchen pleasing the slave girl" (Grumio est in culina, delectat ancilla). that last one is my favourite.
but seriously. why did i ever choose to study latin???
tonight i had to go down to the filing cabinet. it's in the garage, and squashed up against other stuff that i am storing there, like a punching bag and half a house full of antique furniture. I needed to find the certificate that says i can responsibly serve alcohol, and therefore can get a job in any establishment that sells alcohol. a very useful thing to have these days, and didn't cost me anything to get when i did it 6yrs ago. Thankfully my certificate and transcript were in a box on top of the filing cabinet so no heavy lifting was required *putting my butch card away, undusted*
While i was there i also found some old transcripts which i might need when i enroll in a university preparation course tomorrow. ya know, i'm 30 now, figured it was probably about time i went to uni... and i have finally found something that inspires me enough to want to live on instant noodles for the next 4yrs. So, in honour of my enrollment tomorrow, i am having instant noodles for dinner. right now, at 10:31pm, and straight from the pyrex measuring jug in which i cooked them in the microwave. so very student life style. all i need is a beer and i would have this thing in the bag! *sipping my G&T* whaaaa!?!?!!
while i was looking for my RSA i also found a highly entertaining letter from a teacher, written to my mother in may 1994. i was about to be 15. the fact that i have it, and it has been severely scrunched and then flattened suggests to me that my mother never saw it...
but here it is for you, typed out exactly as written.
25.5.1994
Languages Faculty
Dear Mrs Clarke (not only spelt wrong, but my mother went by Ms.)
We are very concerned about Alex progress/conduct/attendance in Latin.
What particularly concerns us regarding your son/daughter is:
~ regular histrionic behaviour & lack of self control.
~ disruptions to others through talking and above.
~ underachievement in classwork & tests
~ lack of positive attitude to do the right thing.
~ short attention span & inability to focus due to other agenda
~ she is difficult to discipline and very volatile
We would be pleased to discuss this matter with you. Please call the school for an appointment with your son/daughter's subject teacher, Ms. Diana Fraser.
Your faithfully
N.W. JENNINGS
HEAD TEACHER, LANGUAGES
Now, Mr Jennings wouldn't have been able to identify me if he walked into our classroom, and there were only about 12 of us in the class.
I remember making life Hell for Ms fraser, for a very short period. I loved Latin, and i loved my latin teacher in yr 7 and 8, and then over summer she was gone and we had Ms Fraser. if i had not been such a pain in the arse i could have easily passed latin, even got close to 100%. the language makes sense, and she would translate everything for us in class. if i had just written stuff down i could have aced the class. but something about her rubbed me the wrong way. quite possibly it was the fact that she translated everything for us in class. there was no autonomy in her class room. not long after the letter she kicked me out, and said i was not welcome back in her class until i had been to see the counselor. Now seeing a counselor is useless if you are sent there, i know this for a fact, my mother sent me to one when i came out. I had no intention of going to see the school counselor, so i just didn't go to class for two months. when i returned to class she was as sweet as pie to me. She put the rest of the class on yellow slips one day, but not me (yellow slips have to be signed by every teacher for a week to say you attended class and behaved. not sure what the consequence was though). for a few months i paid attention, wrote stuff down, got a really good mark on my end of yr exam that year. over the summer i seem to recall something being said about her not wanting me in her class the following year. Now, this was a 2yr course, and as i'm sure you can imagine by the small size of my class, there was no other latin class for me to attend, so i went to see my year adviser and she sorted it out. I went to latin, continued as i had at the end of the previous year, behaving, paying attention, doing well. then one day, mid term, mid week, completely without warning we had a new teacher. i thought he was a substitute teacher and so asked jokingly if Ms Fraser had gone. when he said yes i almost fell over. now i didn't much like him either, but he was just boring, and made us do the work ourselves (as we should have been for the previous yr and a bit). this is where it showed that i had not been listening for over 6 months. my final exam mark for Latin was 9%. yes that's correct. 9%. the grade on my report card is a D. how the hell you get a percentage mark in single figures and not get a fail is beyond me. I still love latin, but the phrases i have retained are useless. i can say thing like "alas, the dog is annoying me" (ehue, canis et meum vexat), "oh no, i'm dead" (ecce, mortuus sum), "mother is in the hall, the dog is in the street" (Mater est in atrio, canis est in via) and "Grumio is in the kitchen pleasing the slave girl" (Grumio est in culina, delectat ancilla). that last one is my favourite.
but seriously. why did i ever choose to study latin???
20100430
the date..
quite recently it was 26/4/10. i had to write the date down a few times that day. and half the time i did it i wrote 26/10/4. i have no idea why i kept getting it wrong, but it led me to thinking maybe that date had some psychic significance.
so, what was i doing on Oct 26, 2004... well my friends twins were born on sept 21, so they would have been just coming home from the hospital - they were premmie... I might have been just getting my arm out of plaster, i had broken it at karate b4 the twins were born. my partner was less then three weeks away from giving birth, which probably means we were at the hospital, at least sometime within a week we would have been at any rate. we spent a lot of time there. work was boring, but there were a few layoffs about a month later, not me. there was a huge thing going on which i won't talk about, but i don't recall anything specific about it happening that day.
so the long and short of it is, i don't know. when we look back in our lives do we ever remember what happened on a specific random day? i know we remember the big things, but if you had to pick a random day of the year 6 years ago, what do you remember???
so, what was i doing on Oct 26, 2004... well my friends twins were born on sept 21, so they would have been just coming home from the hospital - they were premmie... I might have been just getting my arm out of plaster, i had broken it at karate b4 the twins were born. my partner was less then three weeks away from giving birth, which probably means we were at the hospital, at least sometime within a week we would have been at any rate. we spent a lot of time there. work was boring, but there were a few layoffs about a month later, not me. there was a huge thing going on which i won't talk about, but i don't recall anything specific about it happening that day.
so the long and short of it is, i don't know. when we look back in our lives do we ever remember what happened on a specific random day? i know we remember the big things, but if you had to pick a random day of the year 6 years ago, what do you remember???
20100421
working with mum...
or "how to feel like a teenager all over again".
“By the way, I know I’m this confident, ‘out’ person on the outside, but there’s still part of me that’s like this 16-year-old scared girl who is in the locker room and doesn’t want to look up for fear that the other girls will think she’s looking at them…”
Nicole Pacent said it right. and it's a real thing, that so many of us experience, and still struggle with. I don't know what goes through str8 girls minds when they are in the same situation, coz i'm not a str8 girl. it doesn't matter that i'm not interested in any of the bodies around me in a dressing room, but i worry that the other girls will think i am looking because i am gay, so i keep my eyes down, or face the wall. i'm not modest. i really don't care if you see me in my underwear. i don't care if your male, female, gay or straight, if we're getting changed you will see my underwear. meh, no biggy. If i am interested in dating you then i will care more, but only because, like most women, i lack body confidence.
so how does this relate to working with my mother? She manages a costume shop. She is a costumier by trade. Her work and training and qualifications means she spends a lot of time with people in their underwear, and when they go see her they expect that. I have been working with her, but have done everything i can to avoid helping people with fastenings or fittings or anything like that. it comes back to that fear that people will think i am looking at them. we get school kids through to grandparents in the shop, trying on costumes. it's what we do, and it's why they come, but it's generally only the women who need help with fastenings - it's the nature of the costumes they wear. and because i work there i guess they expect me to have the level of professionalism, and maybe i'll become confident in that thought one day, but right now the fear wins, and Mum just doesn't understand. which takes me back to "what do str8 girls think". by the way my mother acts and reacts i could take it that it's not an issue. but then again, as stated, this is her career, her trade.
but i hate feeling like a teenager. it wasn't that much fun first time around.
“By the way, I know I’m this confident, ‘out’ person on the outside, but there’s still part of me that’s like this 16-year-old scared girl who is in the locker room and doesn’t want to look up for fear that the other girls will think she’s looking at them…”
Nicole Pacent said it right. and it's a real thing, that so many of us experience, and still struggle with. I don't know what goes through str8 girls minds when they are in the same situation, coz i'm not a str8 girl. it doesn't matter that i'm not interested in any of the bodies around me in a dressing room, but i worry that the other girls will think i am looking because i am gay, so i keep my eyes down, or face the wall. i'm not modest. i really don't care if you see me in my underwear. i don't care if your male, female, gay or straight, if we're getting changed you will see my underwear. meh, no biggy. If i am interested in dating you then i will care more, but only because, like most women, i lack body confidence.
so how does this relate to working with my mother? She manages a costume shop. She is a costumier by trade. Her work and training and qualifications means she spends a lot of time with people in their underwear, and when they go see her they expect that. I have been working with her, but have done everything i can to avoid helping people with fastenings or fittings or anything like that. it comes back to that fear that people will think i am looking at them. we get school kids through to grandparents in the shop, trying on costumes. it's what we do, and it's why they come, but it's generally only the women who need help with fastenings - it's the nature of the costumes they wear. and because i work there i guess they expect me to have the level of professionalism, and maybe i'll become confident in that thought one day, but right now the fear wins, and Mum just doesn't understand. which takes me back to "what do str8 girls think". by the way my mother acts and reacts i could take it that it's not an issue. but then again, as stated, this is her career, her trade.
but i hate feeling like a teenager. it wasn't that much fun first time around.
20100413
since forever ago...
my cat is an odd ball. he is on prozac. lately he has started to settle. i really like it. the things i love most about him.. when he's settled, when he is following all his own little routines that i know and expect. when i wake up he try's to convince me to feed him b4 i shower. he always fails, follows me into the bathroom, and as soon as i turn on the water he leaves. when i get out he then sits on the mat between my feet and stays there till i hang up my towel. when i sit in a particular spot he will wonder around my legs, waiting for me to pull his tail. when i get pizza he will sit on the box. if he can't have any, then neither can i...
there are some routines i am less excited about. he will wait till i am cleaning the litter to go... he will sit on the clean washing and leave it covered in hair. when i am putting clean sheets on the bed he will try and get under the sheets, in the quilt cover, every where, super hyperactive, and i always end up with scratches.... i totally understand why my friends have taken to calling him cunter...
but i love him....
there are some routines i am less excited about. he will wait till i am cleaning the litter to go... he will sit on the clean washing and leave it covered in hair. when i am putting clean sheets on the bed he will try and get under the sheets, in the quilt cover, every where, super hyperactive, and i always end up with scratches.... i totally understand why my friends have taken to calling him cunter...
but i love him....
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