you will one day...

i smoke. sometimes i don't. most people are surprised when they see me smoking for the first time, especially if they've known me for a few years... i'm what you'd call an anti-social smoker. i tend not to smoke around other people. You can't smoke in pubs and clubs here anymore, so it's not like i go out and have a beer and a smoke with friends, most of whom are singers, and most singers don't smoke anyway. i have only 1 or 2 friends who smoke at all, and one of them is only a sometimes smoker, like maybe one every month or so. i don't smoke at cafes because people are eating, and i would rather not do that to non smokers... but all of that is beside the point really.
the point is i have smoked on and off for a great number of years. the longest i have gone without smoking since i started was three years. i think my biggest issue is not that i can't quit, it's that i actually enjoy it. smoking that is, not quitting. i know it's bad for me. i know it smells. i smoke maybe 2 or three a day, so it's not like i am a chimney. some days even when i have some on hand i might not smoke at all. i have lots of friends telling me that i have to quit, it's bad for me, it's bad for my voice. that i can't afford it (which is sometimes true). None of these people "having a go at me" has ever inspired me to quit at all

Yesterday i had a friend say "you will one day". very simple. one day "I" will be ready to quit, for me. not quitting coz someone else is telling me i should. I think this is the closest someone has ever come to inspiring me to quit. i am not about to do it today, but yes, i will, one day.

that is all.