fault and human traits.

"When it comes to Terry's part of it, and Alima's, I'm sorry—and I'm ashamed. Of course I blame her somewhat. She wasn't as fine a psychologist as Ellador, and what's more, I think she had a far-descended atavistic trace of more marked femaleness, never apparent till Terry called it out. But when all is said, it doesn't excuse him. I hadn't realized to the full Terry's character—I couldn't, being a man." - Herland, Charlotte Perkins Stetson Gilman

I am reading Herland at the moment. It's a utopian society that for thousands of years has been entirley comprised of women. this section that i have copied here is basically about rape. it is never stated so harshly, and it was written in a time when marital rape didn't exist - or more accurately wasn't defined as a crime, or even an act. if you married a man you had given up ur right to say no... the implication given by the narrator is that Alima is as much to blame for the rape as Terry, because she is female, and also because she didn't or couldn't explain to terry well enough about the beliefs of her world that meant that sex wasn't for any purpose other than procreation, because that is the natural order of things in the animal kingdom. He is to be absolved of some of the blame because he is male and it is his nature and right as a MAN to "have" his wife.

i am simmering this right down to basic principals, read the book to get the whole story - it's not that long.
so it's her upbringing and culture and custom of her people for thousands of years to not have sex. it's his upbringing and culture and customs of his people for thousands of years that when you get married you own the woman and therefore she has no right, no thought, to say no to you in any matter.
therefore both are responsible for the act that took place, her for not submitting, him for not seeing her as different to the women of his world who had been rasied with the same ideals and beliefs as he had.

Me being me, a woman who was born in the late 20th Century, strong minded, strong willed, opinionated, i struggle with seeing how Alima can be at fault in this situation. Men don't rule the world, certainly not my world. it scares me that it was 1991 before the australian high court abolished a ruling that exempted any husband from being convicted of rape if his victim was his wife (though South Australia had partially abolished this as "early" 1975). i am not a complete innocent and totally blinkered in this world, but i struggle to see how a woman/victim can EVER be at fault for rape.

maybe this is another reason why we don't have as many children per family as we used to...

where do we draw the line though. where do we say, it's not ur fault, it's the way you were raised, it's not ur fault it's just part of ur nature and ur culture. if i was raised in a culture that existed entirley on communal food and then came to work in an office, would i be allowed to raid the fridge and eat whatever i wanted because it is how i was raised? if i was raised to believe that the elderly and terminally ill are a burden on society and therefore they must be left to nature to deal with (euthanasia through omission of care), would i be unaccountable under Australian law which still outlaws euthanasia? i think the answer most people would agree in both cases is i would still be at fault and accountable under whatever system of government there was.

just reconciling thought in my head..

that is all...