???

so, when someone tells you they don't want a hug because they have been crying for about 5 hours, and hugging you would just mean more crying, do you feel good or bad? when the same person thanks you for imaginary hugs, because that's all they are brave enough to face, do you feel good or bad? do i feel bad that she cried alone for 5 hours when she could have called me for that hug? do i feel good that my hugs are a safe enough place that she feels she can cry there?

it's hard, and it leaves me feeling neither good or bad. closer to impotent, and un-useful (which is different to to useless).

that is all...